One percent

Life is many things. It can be happy, it can be said. It can give you what you want or it can test the limits of your patience. It can be very boring and hauntingly interesting. And above all it can be what ever you want it to be as long as you keep trying and believe in it. The only thing you can never do is fully control life. Many of us have tried it, for sure, even I think from time to time that I'm actually capable of controlling such a complicated, big thing as life. 

Let's put it this way. For 99% you actually can control your life or at least you can try to live it as you think is best at the moment given all your circumstances and thoughts. But the most beautiful thing about life is that one other percent. That percent that makes life interesting. That one percent that will always surprise you no matter what. It is that one percent that parents try to give words to when they say "you will get there in life". It is that one percent that people try to discribe when they say "you will find the one". And it is that one percent where you hope for when you come to those moments in life where you for a second really don't know what to do. 

It is that one percent that is always their, without you seeing it, without you being able to touch it. That one percent that has a unique meaning to every living human being. It is that one percent that I want to talk with you guys about.

Here in Australia, on the first day of 2018, away from every obligation I ever had so far in my life that one percent is closer than ever. The thing is I have time. Time to think. Time to do absolutely nothing. Time to do everything I want. Time time time. And I discovered that this one percent gets to you when you have time, space  and the freedom to do what you think is best for you at the moment. Things that you always put in front of you for example the question what you really want to do in life. I solved it here. All of a sudden I knew it. Simply because the pieces of the puzzle where finally not blurry to me anymore. During these 8 months I found the corners of the puzzle, I made the frame and I realized which colours had to fill the picture of my puzzle. For now this feels as the right thing to do, it can change of course, because as I said you can never entirely control life. It is always playing with you. But with every thought of the moment in my head and given the circemstances I won my game with life this time. 

So that one percent can be something really good. Something you really want to happen and then it all of a sudden happens to you. But where there is something good there is always something bad. The two keep each other in a firm grip, just because they need each other. Where life can surprise you sometimes in a really good way, it can also surprise you in a bad way. That's what's keeping it interesting. Today was nor the first nor the last time this happened to me. It was the direct reason to write this blog and it is something I will always remember. And suprisingly not in a bad way. What happened to me today, the surprise life gave me, that one percent, was when I look back at it actually about to happen. The way it happened and the moment surprised me, but the act itself didn't. That's why I can have peace with it and that's why I will remember this moment in a positive way. Unpurpose. 

So that one percent can surprise you both positive and negative. It makes you think about things. It activates you and it keeps life interesting. It is untouchable, but comes closer and gets more understandable when you have time and space to think. And you can write about it as I'm doing know. 

I'm not the kind of person to have good intentions for the new year or to speak them out loudly. The year will come to me as it is, and if I want to achieve something during the year I will fight for it as hard as I can. But I'm going to do something new today. I'm gonna speak out that I hope that one percent will happen to me this year on various ocassions. I hope it will suprise me in both ways, I hope it will make me think about what I'm doing and where I'm going and I hope it does something I don't know anything of right now. Just because that is the thing that this one percent does. And to achieve this all I will try to be more free and have more time and space, wherever whenever (Shakira!!). 

Let that be my lesson of 2017  that I take with me to 2018. Always try to reach the one percent, still be surprised by this one percent when it actually appears, but above all to be as free as I am now to make this all possible. 

Yeah, that's what I wanted to tell you guys. Just take out of it what you want and let it inspire you if you want to. If you think "Wow he makes long sentences and writes a lot of vague things" then you're probably right and I will laugh about the fact that you are saying that. Because that is how I want to act. Free. Not judging. Just appreceating and letting people be. 

One last thing. That one percent always happens to you unpurpose. I already said that. And I misspelled the word. Or at least for you guys. I learnt the word this way, and it will always make me laugh when I think back at the moment I learned it. Unpurpose. Unpurpose. Unpurpose. 

Cheers, Kai